Bah Harvey Humbug
by darveysecretsanta2018
Summary: Darvey Christmas Carol; pre-canon. Harvey gets a visit from the Ghost of Christmas past, present and future. Darvey
1. Chapter 1

**Prompt by bassempire: **(Darvey Christmas Carol, pre-canon) Harvey gets a visit from the Ghost of Christmas past, present and future

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Part I

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Harvey Specter hated Christmas.

One might understandably assume that it was either the over enthusiastic cheer, irritating carol singers, cheap chintzy decorations or the obscene number of times he was subjected to Mariah Carey warbling about what she wanted for Christmas that caused his bad mood during this particular season.

All these things did indeed grate on his nerves, and many other festive annoyances too. However, truth be told, they weren't the real reason for his miserable mood. The root cause of his aversion to Christmas lay in his past, and in particular, his childhood.

It hadn't always been the case. When he was very small, he loved and enjoyed the month of December just like most other children. He had vague recollections of the excitement leading up to the big day. The pure and simple joy of choosing a tree with his Dad then decorating it with his Mom. The glorious aroma of baked spiced cookies, and the thrill and trepidation on Christmas Eve, awaiting the arrival of a certain magical being and his trusted reindeer.

That all changed, though, when one year, just a few days before he was due to break from school for the Christmas holidays, he had been sent home early, due to a stomach ache. As a result of his early and unexpected arrival home, he'd inadvertently discovered a scantily clothed man in his mom's bedroom, and it wasn't his dad. The magical spell was broken that Christmas. Joy and happiness were replaced with bitterness and resentment. Each subsequent Christmas thereafter, brought back those sour memories, and Harvey refused to surrender to any form of festive cheer.

Donna Paulsen on the other hand, loved Christmas.

She loved the shop windows festooned with fake snow and twinkly lights. She happily indulged in eggnog and pumpkin pie whilst watching corny Hallmark movies. She loved choosing and buying the perfect gifts for her nearest and dearest, and she thoroughly enjoyed adorning the office with tinsel decorations, holly and mistletoe.

This was all despite the fact that similar to Harvey, Christmas for her was peppered with sad memories. Her father had lost his business at this time of year, and pretty much twelve months later, her parents separated, their divorce finalised the following year after that. However unlike Harvey, Donna chose not to dwell on those memories, but embrace the joy she felt instead.

It was because of this that Donna rarely let Harvey's foul mood spoil her Christmas festivities. For every sarcastic remark, every biting word and every angry outburst, Donna would simply let it wash over her, usually responding with a joke or a smile. Which is exactly what she chose to do when she heard Harvey bark her name for the fiftieth time that day.

"DONNA!"

Donna rolled her eyes, pushed back her chair and casually sauntered into Harvey's office.

"Yes Harvey?" she smiled.

"What the hell is that?" He was pointing at the glass table in the corner of his office that had been draped with a winter garland adorned with silver and red baubles, and a miniature tree that was lit with merry twinkling lights.

"That … is a Christmas tree, Harvey," Donna replied nonchalantly.

"I can see that Donna, what the hell is it doing in my office?" he snapped.

"It's adding some much needed warmth and good cheer," she smirked.

"God Damnit Donna, that's about the fifth time this week you've stuck shit like that in here. I thought I made it perfectly clear, I don't want it!"

"Is it really doing you any harm, Harvey?" Donna chose to ignore his petulant tone.

"Yeah! I think it's bringing me out in a rash!"

Donna plonked herself down into the chair in front of his desk, eyebrow quirked. "Can I get you some cream for that?" she suggested, suppressing a smile.

"What you can do, Donna, is remove it before I shove it some place where the don't shine!"

Donna gave a heavy sigh and bounced lightly in her chair, deciding a change of subject was in order.

"Everyone's meeting in the library for drinks in about fifteen minutes, are you going to grace us with your presence this year?" she asked sweetly.

Harvey gave no response, but just glared at his laptop screen, jaw clenched.

"Come on Harvey, it's only drinks with your employees and fellow partners, it's not a _party,_" she uttered the last word almost through gritted teeth.

"That's because I cancelled the party this year, Donna," he said with a scowl.

"Oh don't remind me, Harvey. It's the first year that this firm hasn't had a Christmas Party, and everyone's pretty pissed about it." She flashed him a warning look.

"If people wanna go out and get drunk on mulled wine whilst dancing to 'White Christmas', they can do it in their own time and on their own dime," he snapped. "And what do you mean, they're meeting in 15 minutes for drinks? it's only 4pm. Last time I looked there is still a shit ton of work to do." He was scowling at her now.

"Harvey, it's Christmas Eve!" she chastised him. She dipped her head to one side and gave him a look that told him 'enough'.

Harvey gave a huff as he threw his pen on the desk and leant back in his chair. He pinched the bridge of his nose in frustration. He knew his mood was getting the better of him, and he was being unreasonable. He just really hated this season and couldn't wait for it to be over so everything could get back to normal.

"I suppose you'll be wanting a couple of days off too," he finally mumbled. "Are you spending it with Malcolm?" he asked with a wry smile.

"It's Mitchell, and no I'm not. I was hoping to go up to Cortland to see my parents." She looked away from him, a sadness in her eyes.

"What? Trouble in paradise?" he asked, eyebrow quirked.

Donna gave a steely glare. "You really are an asshole, Harvey Specter. Do you know that?"

"I'm sorry, it's the rash making me irritable," he quipped with a sarcastic grin..

"Dare I ask what you are doing this year, Harvey? Are you going to do your normal, and drink too many Mcallan 18's at an overpriced bar and then take some half your age, too thin but very bendy model back to your bed?" she asked still bouncing lightly in her chair, but now with a slightly pained look in her eyes.

"You know me so well," he said in that soft deep tone that always made her heart flutter without fail.

Donna cleared her throat. "So, are you going to come to the library for a drink or not, because with Louis away, I think it's only right that _one _of the name partners makes an appearance?" she said, diverting the direction of the conversation once again.

Harvey instantly bristled, he rounded his shoulders and his eyes narrowed.

"No, Donna, like I said there's too much work to do, and I know for a fact that Louis left the majority of the associates handling doc review for the Walsh Keery case. I also know that it was supposed to be completed by now. So, how about you go tell them that until it's finished, there won't be any drinks in the library, and unless they want to spend tomorrow in the bullpen, they'd better get the goddamn job done!" Harvey glared at her, his voice raised.

Donna's shook her head in despair. "Really, Harvey? Louis wouldn't expect —"

"I also want you to remove all that crap off my table, and how about, once you've done that, you find me those Dymo corp files I asked for, over an hour ago."

Donna looked back at him wide eyed. "Harvey, you're not meeting with Dymo corp until mid January, and there are over two hundred files that would need—"

"Will you just do your goddamn job? Is that too much to ask?" Harvey snapped.

Donna felt her face flush and she swallowed heavily. She slowly stood, taking a deep breath before walking over to the little Christmas tree. She collected the garland, unplugged the lights and with her arms full of all the decorations from Harvey's table, she quietly left his office.

Harvey closed his eyes and his shoulders dropped. He knew he was being a dick. He'd seen the hurt and disappointment on her face, and he knew he should apologise to her. He should make amends right away, but he was still feeling snarky and he just couldn't face it. He'd make it up to her after this god awful holiday was over. Nothing a little shopping trip to Hermes couldn't rectify.

He sat back down and picked up the file on his desk, scanning through the documents for any anomalies, an uneasy feeling of regret in his gut.

Donna meanwhile, had decided she wouldn't relay Harvey's message to the associates. He was already off everyone's Christmas card list for canceling the office party. Telling them they had to work late on Christmas Eve would just pour gasoline on the fire, and what he didn't know wouldn't hurt him. She was pretty sure that once Christmas was over he would have forgotten all about it, and be back to his normal arrogant, cocky but slightly less dickish self.

She should have known better than to try and soften him with Christmas spirit. She'd worked with him long enough to know that the Grinch had nothing on Harvey Specter. He was practically a lost cause, but her love of Christmas and her love for Harvey meant that every year she endeavoured to break through that hard, hostile shell of his. When it came to Harvey Specter, Donna Paulson was hopelessly optimistic!

Donna made her way to the file room, but not before quietly enabling the rest of the firm to escape Harvey's unreasonable orders. She passed on her own adapted message, that Harvey had indeed happily given them the green light for a few quick Christmas drinks in the library, followed by an early finish to the day. She then proceeded to wade through too many boxes of files, collecting all the relevant paperwork for the Dymo corp acquisition. If she could get this done before going home, maybe it would pacify Harvey somewhat.

As she copied and stapled the last file, she rubbed her neck and looked at her watch. Damnit! 8pm, so much for getting away early.

She approached Harvey's office cautiously and tapped on the glass of his door. He was standing looking out at the New York skyline, his jacket discarded, sleeves rolled up and a whiskey in his hand. He turned at the sound of her knock.

"The files are all collated, annotated and currently sitting in the conference room. If that's all Harvey, I'd like to go home," she said quietly.

Harvey opened his mouth to respond, but Donna had already turned and walked out, grabbing her coat and handbag from her cubicle. "Merry Christmas, Harvey," she said with a sad smile before walking away.

Harvey closed his eyes and sighed heavily. He should have said something to her, apologised and returned the sentiment. Despite how he felt about Christmas, he knew how important it was to her, and she was important to him. Maybe he should get her two bags from Hermes.

Harvey put his empty glass down and picked up his jacket. He had a particular bar in mind that he had an open invitation to. It was expensive, exclusive and usually flush with beautiful, available women.

He'd have to get a cab, as he had no Ray today. Donna had suggested he grant the devout family man the day off and he'd actually agreed. She'd asked him after she'd miraculously managed to catch him in a rare moment of happiness, right after he'd won a particularly tricky case in court earlier in the week.

It was less than an hour later that he found himself at the bar of the prestigious club on 5th Avenue, several Mcallan's in and already being fawned over by a very tall, beautiful brunette. He estimated that she was probably half his age, but from the way she kept touching his thigh whilst simultaneously propelling her cleavage into his face, he was pretty sure the age difference was of no concern to her.

He paid their bar bill, and didn't waste any time taking her home. They were barely over the threshold of his condo before they were swiftly removing each other's clothes, not even making it to his bedroom before he was screwing her over the back of his sofa.

Satisfactorily sated, they both retrieved their discarded clothing and got dressed. He fixed her a drink whilst they made mildly pleasant small talk. He then called and paid for a taxi home for her, her parting kiss and request that he call her sometime, greeted with a nod and a smile that did not reach his eyes.

It was now nearing midnight, and Harvey found himself sat on his couch, with another Mcallan in his hand. He gazed out of the tall windows of his penthouse apartment, once again feeling his mood dip as the euphoria and release of tension that sex always brought him, faded away. The twinkling lights of the New York Skyline began to blur as the combination of the alcohol coursing through his veins and his general weariness eventually took hold. His eyelids drooped, and his empty glass slipped from his grasp as he succumbed to sleep.

It was less than ten minutes later that the clock above his fireplace softly chimed midnight. Silence followed, the only sound being Harvey's gentle snores.

That is until the sound of three loud knocks reverberated throughout the apartment.

Harvey instantly stirred in response to the sudden noise. He took a moment to gather his bearings. Confused as to what had awoken him, he rubbed his eyes and decided his bed was calling him. As he rose from the couch, he once again heard three more knocks.

He glanced at the clock and noticed it was just a minute after midnight. Who could possibly be calling on him at this late hour? He walked towards his front door, hoping when he opened it, it wouldn't be the girl that he had recently bid 'au revoir' to.

He peeped through the spyhole, and frowned in utter confusion when he saw an empty corridor on the other side of his door. He swung the door open to double check and sure enough, there was no one there. Scratching the back of his head, and deciding he really must have drunk too much tonight, he shut his door, and strode back towards the living room, stopping dead in his tracks when his eyes fell upon an elderly suited man, standing in front of his fireplace.

"What the fuck? Who the hell are you?" he exclaimed, his heart racing.

The man said nothing.

Once the initial shock of seeing him standing in his living room had passed, and without even beginning to contemplate exactly how he had gotten there, Harvey realised that the well dressed man was vaguely familiar to him.

With his heart still pounding, and as Harvey racked his brains, desperately trying to place the familiar face, the man suddenly spoke.

"Harvey Specter! You've come a long way since your days as the mailroom boy."

His voice was strangely hollow and unsettling, as though it was disconnected from his body. Harvey did not immediately register this peculiarity, nor the fact that whilst smartly dressed, the man had a strange, almost ethereal presence to him. What did register, was the sudden realisation of who this man was.

"Walter Schmidt!" Harvey gasped, staring at the former named partner of Gordon, Schmidt and Van Dyke. "What the hell are you doing in my apartment?" he demanded.

"I've come for your redemption," he said matter of factly.

"What?"

"Your redemption Harvey. It's long overdue"

Harvey stood open mouthed, now completely dumbstruck by this utterly surreal situation.

He cleared his throat. "Long overdue? Nobody has seen _you_ since 2012, and now you're here in my apartment, babbling about redemption? Why the hell are you here?"

"I died," he said with a shrug.

"You what now?"

"I died. Yesterday in fact, and now I'm here, offering you the chance of redemption"

Harvey was now seriously beginning to wonder whether the girl he'd picked up earlier had slipped something into his drink.

"Okay," he said, any other possible response failing him. He staggered towards the nearest kitchen stool and sat himself down, his heart now beating at a million miles per hour. He dared himself to study the former named partner more closely and as he did so the strange, unworldliness appearance of Walter Schmidt became more obvious to him. He realised to his horror that not only did he look almost translucent, the fireplace was actually clearly visible directly through him. He also appeared to be draped in a heavy, long chain that was made up of keys, padlocks and safety deposit boxes all wrought in steel.

"I can see that you are struggling to believe what you see before your eyes, so let me explain, and I promise to keep it brief."

Walter shuffled towards him and his chain clashed and clanked as he dragged it behind him. Harvey recoiled, but he couldn't tear his eyes away from the ghastly vision in front of him.

"I was an outstanding lawyer, Harvey. I regarded myself as the best closer of my time. Don't get me wrong, Stanley and Charles were skilled in their own right, but I was the rock star, and I was ruthless. I didn't really care about anything or anyone, I only cared about winning, and I won every time. Sound familiar?"

"Hey, I care about people, and I care about loyalty," Harvey responded indignantly, despite questioning his own sanity that he was actually engaging in conversation with this...well, he didn't know what it was.

"Maybe you do, but you seem to have a hard time showing it. 'Caring makes you look weak'? I believe that's the phrase you used wasn't it?" Walter gestured in his direction, his chain clunking as he did so.

Harvey shuffled uncomfortably in his seat.

"I'm here Harvey, because I was like you. My drive to be a success meant I shut off my emotions, enabling me to cause quite a bit of suffering along the way without feeling the slightest bit guilty about it. I never did anything technically criminal, but ethically and morally I constantly crossed the line, always using the excuse that I was just following and using the law to win on behalf of my clients. I wasn't doing anything wrong." Walter suddenly groaned, the weight of his chain appearing to cause him great pain and discomfort.

Harvey had never felt so unsettled and afraid, but he couldn't tear his eyes away from the spectre before him.

"It was easy to ignore the suffering when everyone is telling you how wonderful you are and the dollars are rolling in. Somewhere along the way, I lost myself. I lost sight of what was really important in life," he moaned.

"And what's that?' Harvey asked, his voice barely above a whisper.

Walter looked at him in surprise. "Why, love, of course." He shook his head at Harvey, and then mournfully looked away.

Harvey snorted. "Love? Love is for fools."

"I used to think that too, but now I realise that not having love in my life, not allowing myself to give or receive love, left me cold, bitter and full of anger. I was under the false belief that my bad temper and sour mood were because of other people's failings. They'd let me down, they weren't good enough, they betrayed me...but it was my own failings, my own frozen heart that was the cause of everything that went wrong in my life. I lost the firm to Jessica and Daniel, I lost my reputation as a winner, I lost everything. It's only now that my life is over that I look back and realise that all of that was nothing to the mere fact that I never knew or embraced love."

Harvey shook his head, both in disbelief at the situation he was in, and at the words that Walter was saying. Walter nodded at him with a resigned expression, not surprised that Harvey was failing to take on board the advice he was offering.

"It's too late for me, Harvey. This chain I bear carries the weight of all my life's misdeeds, and I must carry this burden for eternity. However, it is not too late for you to change," he paused noting the look of skepticism on Harvey's face. " I see that you mistrust my words…"

"Yeah, I can't think why. It's not like I'm currently staring at a recently deceased, freakingly transparent ex named partner, who happens to be giving me life lessons on Christmas Eve whilst wrapped in a heavy chain. I'm clearly tripping here, so if you don't mind, I'll just sit here and ride this out!" Harvey tried to mask his nerves with sarcasm, but truth be told he was totally freaking out.

Walter merely nodded, unfazed by Harvey's dismissal.

"You will be visited tonight by three spirits. The first spirit will appear when the clock strikes at 1am. Pay heed to what these spirits say, Harvey, and what they show you. Your very soul is at stake here,'' Walter said gravely.

"How about you tell them not to bother because I'm not interested! I'd like to go to bed, so if you don't mind, you can show yourself the hell out!" Harvey's angry tone was doing a poor job of disguising the fear in his voice.

"One o'clock, Harvey… As the clock strikes the hour."

"Like I said, I'm not interested. So you can-" Harvey was stopped dead in his tracks when he observed Walter Schmidt virtually dissolve into thin air in front of him. His skin went cold, and he felt his hands go clammy.

"Jesus fucking Christ, what the hell did that woman put in my drink?" Harvey all but gasped to himself.

He sat for a few minutes, not daring to move, slightly petrified that some other hallucination might materialize, like his childhood pet dog Rika in a tutu, or Daniel 'Fucking' Hardman popping up out of his trash can!

Eventually, Harvey decided that whatever mind blowing drug had been racing through his bloodstream, it had hopefully now worn off. He rose from the kitchen stool and slowly made his way to his bedroom. After splashing his face with water, cleaning his teeth and throwing on a T shirt and sweats, he clambered into bed and closed his eyes, thankful that he was one day nearer to his Christmas purgatory being over.

By the time 1am came around, Harvey was in a deep sleep, happily dreaming that he'd tracked down the woman who had clearly drugged him, and was in the process of having her arrested. Suddenly that imaginary scene became eerily distorted as everything before him was bathed in the brightest of white lights. As the intensity of the light became too much to bear, Harvey woke from his dream, only to discover the bright light was in fact in his bedroom. Harvey sat up slightly, and shielded his eyes as he tried to make sense of what was happening around him.

The bright light slowly began to fade, and like a mirage gradually coming into focus on the horizon, the figure of an old lady, dressed in bell bottoms and a brightly coloured gypsy blouse stood at the end of the bed.

Harvey froze, his senses on high alert, and his stomach flipping at yet another hallucination conjured up by his addled brain. He studied the lady and deciphered that not only did she look like she had been transported directly from the 1970's, but she also bore an uncanny resemblance to his kindergarten teacher.

"Mrs Kowalski?" Harvey croaked.

The lady smiled warmly at him, but slowly shook her head. "No, Harvey. I am the ghost of Christmas past"

"You're what now?"

"I'm the ghost of Christmas past," she repeated. "_Your_ Christmas past to be precise"

Harvey's mouth gaped open and he slowly pulled the comforter on his bed up to his chin as though it would protect him from this woman.

"Well you look like my kindergarten teacher, Mrs Kowalski," he whispered.

"Do I?" she raised her eyebrows as though in pleasant surprise, but then gave a little shrug. "Okay, if you say so. This is your rodeo, as they say"

Harvey groaned and slumped back onto his pillow. He was tired of fighting whatever his mind was doing to him. Maybe he should just go with it, the path of least resistance probably the quickest route to ending this nightmare.

He sat back up, swung his legs out of his bed and gave a huge sigh. "Okay, Mrs Kowalski… or Mrs Christmas, or whoever you are. What do you want with me?" he asked wearily.

"It's actually more the other way round, but I can see you are struggling with that concept. So let's just say that I am here as your guide."

"Guide to where?" he asked nervously.

"It's more _when_ than where, and that really is up to you. Like I said, this is your past, your show," she smiled at him reassuringly.

Harvey looked up at her, frowning. He shook his head in bewilderment. "Okay, I'm not gonna pretend I know what the hell you are talking about, but what happens next? What do you want me to do?" He asked with a sigh.

"Take my hand" she said gently.

"What?"

"Take my hand, Harvey. You can trust me.". Her voice was warm and gentle and Harvey felt strangely comforted, his fear evaporating with every second. He slowly reached his hand out and placed it in hers.

His bedroom suddenly started spinning all around him, in a whirlwind of colours, sounds and sensations. His stomach lurched and just when he thought he might throw up, the swirling stopped and he found himself suddenly standing in a corridor… a school corridor.

He took a deep breath and whilst getting his bearings, he cautiously looked around him, taking in his surroundings.

"This is my old school," he mumbled. "That's the principal's office," he said as he pointed to the door in front of him.

Mrs Kowalski simply nodded and smiled.

Harvey then noticed a small boy sat on a bench outside of the principals office, his head bowed, and his legs swinging back and forth. The boys arms were crossed, seemingly in defiance, and Harvey heard soft sobs that indicated the boy was crying.

Harvey was about to approach the boy when he heard adult voices come from inside the principal's office and then the door opened.

Harvey's breath stalled in shock when he saw none other than his father shake hands with the principal and then step out into the corridor.

"Dad?" he choked, his eyes instantly stinging with tears.

"He can't hear you, Harvey." Mrs Kowalski placed a comforting hand on his arm. "These are merely shadows of your past"

Harvey shook his head, his heart beating wildly and a lone tear escaping down his cheek. He so desperately wanted to reach out to his father, but resigned himself to watch the scene before him instead.

_"Hey buddy, you got room on that bench for me?" _

_The boy didn't look up but gave a shrug, tightening his crossed arms._

_Gordon sighed, and sat down on the bench forcing the boy to scooch over._

_"Principal Eaves tells me you got into a fight. You wanna tell me about it?"_

_The boy shook his head, and dropped his head even lower._

_"Okay Harvey, that's alright. But if you won't talk to me, I'll just have to assume that the other kid kicked your ass, and that's why you're sitting here feeling sorry for yourself"_

_Harvey's head shot up and his brown eyes sparked with defiance. "HE DID NOT, I kicked _his _ass"_

_"Did you now?" Gordon said, eyebrows raised. "So why don't you tell me what happened, because Principal Eaves is very cross with you, Harvey, and I need to understand why you're fighting in school"_

_Harvey slowly uncrossed his arms and looked up at his father, his bottom lip quivering._

_"He was being mean, Dad. He was saying stupid, dumb stuff and I told him to stop and he wouldn't, so I … I… hit him." Harvey's eyes pooled with tears, and he looked at his dad with remorse._

_"What exactly did he say to you, Harvey, to make you react like that?" his dad asked with a frown._

_"He said Santa didn't exist, Dad!" Harvey cried, a look of disgust and horror on his face. "He said I was stupid for beleiving in him, and I told him I wasn't, and that he was the stupid one, cause we'd heard Santa last year, remember Dad, cause we did, didn't we? I told him about the jingle bells on the roof and the sound of the hooves, and that you saw him, and he said I was lying and then he called you a 'dumb ass' and… and… I hit him!" Harvey started sobbing again._

_Gordon reached an arm around the boy's shoulder and hugged him close._

_"Okay buddy. I get it, this kid's an idiot, and he was wrong to say those things to you, but you shouldn't have hit him. You should probably feel a little bit sorry for him?"_

_Harvey pulled away slightly from his Dad and looked at him wide eyed. "Why?"_

_"Because he doesn't believe in Santa, and I think that's really tragic. Don't you think that anyone who's stopped believing, must have lost their Christmas spirit? I bet he must be really lonely and sad."_

_Harvey reflected on his father's words, the cogs clearly turning, processing what his father had said._

_"I guess so. I'm still mad with him though, he shouldn't have called you a dumbass." Harvey said sternly, his bottom lip protruding slightly._

_Gordon gave a little chuckle and gave his son a hug. _

_"Come on, let's go. Maybe we can go check out this year's Christmas tree on the way home, whadda you say?"_

_Harvey looked up excitedly and nodded. They both stood to leave when Gordon leaned down and whispered in Harvey's ear. "So, I have to know. Was it a jab, hook or uppercut?"_

_Harvey gave his dad a sneaky grin. "Left hook Dad, he never saw it coming!"_

_"Atta boy!" he chuckled. "But don't tell your mom I said that okay?" He mumbled out the corner of his mouth._

_"Say what Dad?" Harvey answered, feigning complete innocence _

_Gordon gave a belly laugh, and ruffled his son's hair as they walked down the corridor._

Harvey watched his younger self walk away, hand in hand with his father and he moved to follow them, desperate not to lose sight of them, but they fizzled out of view, as if in a puff of smoke.

Harvey cried out, tears now streaming down his face.

"You used to love Christmas, Harvey, and so did your father," Mrs Kowalski said softly.

"Yeah well, this was before everything changed at home. I was a kid, all kids love Christmas," Harvey snapped.

"Well clearly not all kids. Look at your friend, the one you had a fight with."

"Billy Porteous was _not_ my friend," Harvey scoffed. "He was a miserable bully, that loved to spoil everyone's fun, any chance he could"

Mrs Kowalski quirked one eyebrow, and Harvey's shoulders dropped when he realised what he'd said.

"Point taken. So, are we going home now?" he asked warily.

"Why don't you take my hand and find out?"

"Oh God, everything is going to start spinning again, isn't it?" Harvey groaned, but he held out his hand anyway. Sure enough they were back on the Wurlitzer of noise and colours. This time, pretty much as soon as it started, it stopped, and Harvey found himself in his old bedroom.

He immediately noticed the same boy as before, only this time, the younger version of himself was a couple of years older. He was lying in his bed, a cold compress on his forehead, and a thermometer in between his lips. Harvey once again took a sharp inhale of breath, when he noticed his mother sat on the side of the bed, her fingers gently combing through her son's hair.

_"Okay honey, let's see if your temperature has dropped." _

_His mother took the thermometer and glanced at the reading. "Hey, that's a little better. I'd say you're out of the woods, champ! Your fever is gone! Christmas might be saved after all," she beamed at him, then leaned forward and kissed him on the cheek._

_Harvey shook his head. "Christmas won't be saved," he whispered, sulkily. _

_"I know you still feel crappy, but I promise you will feel better soon, Harvey. I checked with Dr. Rowland, and he has prescribed lots of hugs, lots of sci-fi movies, a steady flow of hot chocolate and we mustn't forget the most important medicine:- Super Magic Christmas Cookies," Lily Specter's eyes sparkled at her son._

_Harvey gave a small smile, but then his face fell again into a forlorn frown._

_"But Dad won't be here. It's not gonna feel like Christmas without Dad is it?" _

_"Oh honey, I know you're upset about your Dad-"_

_"He promised! He said he'd be back," Harvey wailed._

_"I know he did, sweetheart, and I promise you, no-one is more upset about it than he is. He wishes he was here too, he really does" _

_"So why isn't he?" _

_Lily sighed. "You know how amazing your Dad is, right? How talented he is and how much you love to hear him play?"_

_Harvey nodded._

_"Well lots and lots of people wanted to hear him play too, but there weren't enough tickets… and you know how your Dad doesn't like to let anyone down, so he extended his tour just by a couple of days." Lily tried to reason._

_"But he's let _us _down," Harvey murmured. "He's ruined our Christmas!"_

_"Harvey sweetie, that's not fair. The three of us are going to have a marvellous time, I promise. I have so many fun things planned for us, you have no idea," she said, running the back of her hand down his cheek. "And then your Dad will be home, and we are gonna do Christmas all over again! You'll get two Christmases instead of one this year! Now what do you say to that?"_

_Harvey nodded, but he shuffled down his bed, turning away from his mother. "Okay Mom, whatever you say. I'm tired now, can I go back to sleep?" he asked, his tone, more than a little despondent._

_Lily gave him a sad smile. "Sure honey, you get some rest." She tucked him in, removed the cold compress from his forehead, replacing it with a soft kiss instead. "I love you, Harvey"_

_"Love you too, Mom"_

Just as before, the two figures dissolved from Harvey's view, but he continued to stare at the spot his mom had just stood, speechless.

"I believe your mother did indeed plan lots of surprises for you and your brother that Christmas, yes?" Mrs Kowalski asked him.

Harvey nodded, her words bringing him out of his daze. "It was probably one of the best Christmases we ever had," he said, a wobble to his voice.

Mrs Kowalski nodded, and she waited for a few moments to allow Harvey's memories to take root.

"Come, it's time for us to move on" She held out her hand once more.

The fast spinning colours and cacophony of sounds overwhelmed Harvey's senses as they made their way to their next stop in time.

.

Continued in part II


	2. Chapter 2

Part II

.

As the dizziness faded, Harvey found himself in The Oak Room of The Plaza Hotel.

The German renaissance style of the room had been complemented with elegant and sophisticated Christmas decorations. Beautiful garlands of gold and silver were illuminated with thousands of twinkling lights.

The venue was filled with laughter, clinking glasses, the smell of roasted chestnuts and the wonderful sounds of joyful Christmas music, being sung by a small choir in the corner of the room. The lavish decor's main feature was a giant Christmas Tree that was festooned with decadent trimmings.

Stood next to the tree was a bored and impatient looking Harvey. He was taking regular large gulps from a whiskey glass as his eyes scanned the room. His eyebrows suddenly lifted, and a miniscule smile graced his lips as he appeared to spot a distinctive flash of red, making her way towards him.

"_Donna."_

"_Harvey."_

_She stood alongside her boss and joined him in observing the room._

"_Pearson Hardman has outdone itself again this year, don't you think?" Donna said as she took a sip of champagne. "I doubt there is a single firm in New York that has come close to hosting a Christmas party as swanky as this"_

_Harvey merely shrugged._

_"I'm amazed you're here, Harvey," Donna noted. "Did Jessica threaten to cut your balls off if you didn't show?" she asked with a smirk._

_Harvey turned to his secretary, and narrowed his eyes. "I promised I'd make an appearance, and here I am. I always keep my word," he said nonchalantly._

"_Really? Does that mean that you also called your father back this afternoon, because I distinctly remember you asking me to promise him that you would," Donna challenged._

_Harvey paused as he was about to take another sip of his drink, he clenched his jaw. "I'll call him later tonight" he mumbled._

"_Later tonight? Wow Harvey, are you actually planning on staying at this party for once?" Donna asked, her eyes sparkling, and a hint of excitement in her voice._

"_No, I'm not. I have plans." _

_Donna's face visibly fell, but she masked her disappointment when Harvey looked up and met her eyes. Her expression changed to one of sudden realisation, and she nodded slowly._

"_Of course...Scottie is in town isn't she?" Donna swallowed, and she turned away from him slightly, taking another swig of her champagne. "Is she meeting you here?" she asked, her eyes still looking anywhere but at him._

"_Thought it made sense. We could have a drink together here and then discreetly make our exit. You'll cover for me, won't you?" Harvey asked, nudging her elbow with his own, and winking at her in the process._

"_Do I have any choice?" Donna sighed._

_Harvey just grinned at her, then his attention diverted to the gilded double doors, as Scottie appeared, giving him a small wave and a sultry smile._

"_That's my cue," Harvey placed his glass down on a passing tray. "Enjoy the party, Donna. I'll see you Monday." He started to walk away, when Donna reached out and touched his arm._

"_Harvey, don't forget to call your Dad," she said softly._

"_I won't"_

_She held tighter onto his arm. "I mean it Harvey. Enjoy your night with Scottie, but please call your Dad after. I talked to him for nearly half an hour today...he really misses you," she said more seriously, determined to get her message through to him._

_Harvey removed his arm, and frowned at her. "I said I will call him, Donna, and I will, okay? Can I go now?" he asked, clearly irritated._

_Donna simply nodded. She watched him walk away with a small shake of her head and sadness in her eyes._

Once again the figures slowly dissolved into thin air, and Harvey looked across to Mrs Kowalski with nothing but regret in his eyes.

"I didn't call him," he choked. "Not that night, nor the next. In fact, I don't remember calling him at all over Christmas." Harvey shook his head in despair, and he sunk to his knees as he felt an overwhelming sense of loss. "He died a few months later," he sobbed.

"Donna visited him though," Mrs Kowalski informed him.

Harvey lifted his red rimmed eyes, and frowned at her in confusion. She nodded as confirmation.

"She knew you weren't going to get around to calling him, so she met him for lunch between Christmas and New Year," she continued. "I believe she made up some plausible story as to why you couldn't call him, I'm not sure exactly what. Regardless, Donna made sure that your father knew you loved and missed him too."

"She did that for me?" Harvey gasped.

"You doubt that she would?" Mrs Kowalski asked gently. "She knew how deeply you loved your father, despite the way you had neglected your relationship with him."

Harvey shook his head in bewilderment.

"She loves you, Harvey. I think that much is clear from what we have just seen."

Harvey felt his heart race, and he looked at his former teacher with wide eyes.

Mrs Kowalski smiled down at him. "Donna has an amazing capacity for love, and so do you, if you would just open your heart to the possibility."

"It's not that simple," Harvey replied, still shaking his head.

"Love rarely is, but I can tell you that there is really only one true happiness in life, Harvey. To love, and to _be_ loved."

"Did you get that pearl of wisdom from a fortune cookie?" Harvey asked with a wry smile.

"Do you always respond to an emotional situation with sarcasm?" Mrs Kowalski countered.

Harvey opened his mouth to retort, but then thought better of it. Instead, he decided he would end this uncomfortable conversation by holding out his hand for the next stage of their time travelling journey. Mrs Kowalski gave him a small smirk and took his hand in hers.

This time the whooshing sensation resulted in Harvey standing back at his bedside. He looked in confusion at his guide, but she simply let go of his hand and stepped away from him.

"I'm back home. Are we back to the present day?" Harvey asked, looking around him.

"We are indeed. My time here has come to an end and I must now bid you farewell," she said sadly. "Remember Harvey, when the clock strikes two, you will be visited by a second spirit"

Harvey nodded but chose to stay silent.

Mrs Kowalski gave him one last smile and then in a blinding flash of light, she was gone.

Harvey stood still in his bedroom, feeling slightly numb. For the first time that night though, he was starting to doubt his initial theory that all of these events were as a result of a serious acid trip. The logical part of his brain was at war, trying to reconcile the notion that whilst being visited by spirits was pretty absurd, he couldn't account for the vividness of his dreams. It could be argued that the memories had simply been part of his subconscious, dragged from the depths of his mind with the aid of some mind bending drug. The problem with that theory, was that he couldn't explain the incredible word for word detail and the sharp and lucid imagery he had witnessed. Memories, no matter how successfully recalled, just didn't work like that.

So as Harvey wearily climbed back into his bed, he slowly started to consider the possibility that everything that had occurred that night, had happened for real.

He lay in bed, staring at the ceiling. His emotions were in free fall, his brain was buzzing, and he seriously doubted he would get any sleep. However, as Harvey wrestled with images of his father, mother and Donna, his eyes slowly closed once more, and he drifted off into a light sleep.

In what seemed like no time at all, the clock in his living room struck 2am, and Harvey's eyes shot open, his brain clearly on high alert. Before he had a chance to take a breath, his ears were met with the deafening sound of what seemed like a hundred peeling bells. Harvey quickly covered his ears, and just as quickly the bells stopped, although Harvey was sure he could still hear them ringing in his head.

He looked about his bedroom, but saw nothing. Feeling apprehensive, he rose out of bed, and softly padded to the living room. In utter astonishment, he stared wide eyed and open mouthed at the sight before him.

The room was filled with light. Not the light that heralded the arrival of Mrs Kowalski, this light was warm and inviting. Golden candlelight, red, blue and pink twinkling fairy lights surrounded him. Dozens of christmas trees, an abundance of beautifully wrapped presents, garlands and wreaths. His living room basically looked like Santa's grotto.

Harvey's attention was then diverted to a jovial looking man that was stood in front of his fireplace. This man didn't look too dissimilar to Santa himself, except that he was dressed in corduroy trousers and the loudest Christmas jumper Harvey had ever seen. The man was beaming from ear to ear at him.

"Merry Christmas, Harvey," he boomed, his voice deep but full of joy.

"Let me guess, you are the second spirit I was told about," Harvey cocked his head to one side, eyebrows raised.

"I am the ghost of Christmas present," he said proudly.

"Okay. So I guess there's no more time travelling then? Good, cause I didn't like that spinny shit that happened. It made me feel sick," Harvey quipped.

The spirit simply chuckled at Harvey's grumblings. "Time travelling? No, but we will be travelling," he said bouncing on the spot.

Harvey groaned. "Please tell me you have an Aston Martin DB9 parked outside, and that's our mode of transport."

"Oh I can do better than that"

"I seriously doubt that," Harvey huffed. "So, what do I call you? Do you have any other name?"

"What would you like to call me?" he asked.

Harvey raised his eyebrows and smirked to himself as a few, rather unsavoury names came to mind. He scratched the back of his neck, and looked up at the man. "How about … Chris. Seems appropriate," he suggested.

"I like it. Chris it is. Well then, Harvey, are you ready? There's no time like the present…" he chuckled to himself, "Sorry, that's one of my little in jokes."

Harvey rolled his eyes. Good lord this was going to be a chore. He nodded at Chris, and reluctantly held out his hand.

"Oh no, Harvey. I do things a little bit differently." Chris laughed once more. He then proceeded to take his own hand from his pocket and quickly tapped his nose. Harvey felt the ground shift as a thousand golden stars shimmered around him. As soon as they settled, Harvey realised he was no longer standing in his living room.

He was now stood at the end of a long dining table, and his heart leapt once more when he instantly recognized the people sat around it.

His family.

His brother Marcus was stood at the head of the table. He seemed to be supervising his son William with carving the Christmas ham. Katie, his wife was sat to the side of him, apparently in fits of laughter at something their daughter Hayley had said.

Harvey then noticed his mom, Lily at the other end of the table. She had a wistful look on her face, as she sat holding hands with her husband, Bobby, whilst she watched her son and his family serve up their Christmas dinner.

"_Okay folks, does anyone want anymore ham before I disarm my son of this carving knife - also now known as a deadly weapon?" Marcus asked with a wink._

"_Hey!" William protested, nudging his dad in the ribs, they both giggled._

"_I think we're all good thanks, Marcus," Bobby replied. "This looks amazing, Katie. You've really outdone yourself this year. I can't wait to tuck in."_

"_It does look wonderful," Lily added. "But before we get started, I'd like to propose a Christmas toast?" _

_Everyone paused, then nodded at Lily, picking up their glasses._

_Lily stood and held out her glass. "Firstly, I want to thank both of you for having us here today and for creating this gorgeous feast."_

"_You're welcome Mom, and you know we love having you here." Marcus lifted his glass to her.._

_Lily smiled back at her son. "Secondly, I know it's been a really tough year, and we missed Thanksgiving dinner because of Marcus's last lot of treatment," she paused and took a deep breath, as Katie reached over and squeezed Marcus's hand. "So I really wanted to take this opportunity, here on Christmas day, to give thanks to everyone around this table. Thanks that we came together as a family to support Marcus, and thanks for the news he received last week, that the signs are he has beaten this thing once again. I'm so proud of you Marcus. I'm so proud of you all" _

"_Here, here," shouted Hayley. Everyone laughed and they all clinked their glasses._

"_Finally, I'd like to toast absent friends. The people we've lost, like my parents, Katie's mom and Gordon of course." She looked down at Bobby, and he gave her a reassuring smile and nod. _

"_The people that can't be here, like Katie's Dad, who for some reason, preferred the idea of visiting his brother in The Bahamas this Christmas, God only knows why…" _

_Everyone chuckled, and they chinked glasses together again._

"_Then there are the people who _should _be here, but are not." _

_Silence fell on the room, as everyone was well aware of who she was referring to._

"_Lily...don't," Bobby sighed heavily._

"_It's okay Bobby, I'm fine." She gave him a small smile._

"_I don't want you upsetting yourself again," he said tenderly._

"_Honestly, I'm okay!" she assured him, a little more sternly. "I refuse to let this day pass without toasting my eldest son. We're not going to pretend that he doesn't exist, Bobby."_

"_Nobody is suggesting that we do, mom. I was planning on calling him later today...but mentioning him now is just likely to distress you, and we just want—"_

"_Marcus, let your mom speak," Katie interjected softly._

_Marcus sighed, but nodded, sitting back in his chair. Lily gave Katie a thankful smile, then took a deep breath._

"_Harvey should be here today, sat with us, sharing this meal and spending time with us as a family, and I know that I'm the reason he's not here," she held a finger up to halt the objections that were about to fly in her direction. "Let me finish… I'll concede that I'm not solely to blame, but I am the reason, and that breaks my heart more than any of you could know. We're all acutely aware of how angry and resentful he is towards both Bobby and I, and from what you've told us, Marcus, he's also always bitter and miserable this time of year, which saddens me even more. So whilst I'm thankful that I get to spend Christmas with all of you, I want us to remember Harvey. I'd like us to drink to him, as I'll once again wish, with every fibre of my being, that not only will he find some peace and happiness this Christmas, but that next year, he too will be sat at this table with us," she took another breath to steady herself, before she continued. "I wish that next year, he will be celebrating with us, laughing with us, sharing the joy that this season brings, but mostly, that I will once again hold him in my arms, and be able to show him how much I love and miss him. That's my Christmas wish... To Harvey!" Lily raised her glass, a lone tear escaped down her cheek but she held her head high and smiled warmly at her family._

_"To Harvey," everyone toasted._

_"He's always welcome here mom, as long as the dickhead brings his own whiskey," Marcus smirked, lightening the mood somewhat._

_"Marcus! Language!" Katie scolded, although she failed to disguise her smile._

_Marcus rolled his eyes "Let's tuck in shall we, before this food gets cold. Plus I'm starving, I think I might waste away if we don't eat soon"_

The family started passing plates around the table, the chatter and laughter returning swiftly.

Harvey watched them, a deep sense of longing permeating through his very bones.

Chris gently rested his hand on Harvey's shoulder, and gave it a squeeze. "You have a wonderful family Harvey, a family that loves and misses you," he said softly.

"I know," Harvey croaked.

"You could be sat there too. Eating with them, joining in now with their fun and laughter"

Harvey shook his head slightly, as he watched his mom smile lovingly at Bobby, before turning to chat to Hayley.

"You don't understand. Of course I miss them, and I can't believe that Marcus has been sick again and he didn't tell me. I feel guilty about that...but the things that happened in the past, I can't forget. It still makes me so angry," Harvey replied.

"Maybe you can't forget, but you can forgive. That's within your power, and forgiveness has this wonderful ability to free you from the pain you carry, Harvey."

Harvey finally tore his eyes away from his family, and turned to look at his guide. He knew that Chris spoke the truth, but the thought of taking that step, overwhelmed him.

Chris seemed to sense Harvey's fears. "You know it's much more exhausting to hate than it is to love."

"I don't hate them," he said looking back towards his Mother and Bobby. "I just hate what they did, and I feel like it consumes me," he admitted.

Chris leant towards him and whispered "Then let it go."

Harvey sighed and nodded slightly, still mesmerized by the scene in front of him.

"I'm afraid we have to leave. My time here is short and I have somewhere else to show you," Chris said, waiting for Harvey to acknowledge that it was time to go.

"Okay," Harvey mumbled.

He took one last glimpse of his mother before the scene was washed away with a flurry of glittering, golden stars.

As everything once again settled before him, Harvey found himself in an immediately recognizable location. A frown instantly fell across his face as he stared at the all too familiar '206' of Donna's front door.

"I don't understand, you said you were the ghost of Christmas Present, didn't you?" Harvey queried.

"I did," Chris beamed.

"Well why are we here then? Donna is in Cortland for Christmas."

"Is she?" Chris raised an eyebrow, clearly disputing that fact.

Harvey looked perplexed, but before he could say anything, they were suddenly stood on the other side of her front door. Harvey wasted no time striding down her hallway and turning the corner, so that he was standing in her living room. Sure enough, there sat Donna, on her couch, wrapped in a blanket.

"I don't understand, why is she here?" Harvey whispered, his eyes never wavering from Donna's face. A deep sense of unease sat in the pit of his stomach as he observed her expression. She looked sad.

"She was meant to go to Cortland, but someone kept her working until 8pm and she missed the last bus that could get her there," Chris said somberly.

Harvey's shoulders dropped, and he tilted his head as he observed her, sitting alone on her couch. He swallowed heavily as he stepped nearer to where she sat, wanting nothing more than to reach out to her and tell her he was sorry.

"Christ, I'm such a dick, aren't I?" he barely whispered.

"I couldn't possibly comment," Chris said, with a little nod of the head that conveyed that he did indeed concur with Harvey's assessment.

Harvey quickly glanced in Chris's direction, but immediately turned his attention back to Donna, as he took in the rest of the scene.

She sat with a half filled glass of wine in her left hand, and the remote control for her T.V in the other. A nearly empty bottle of wine was placed on the table in front of her, along with a box of chocolate candy, also half eaten, and a bag of potato chips open on her lap.

She was dressed in her PJs and dressing gown, her vibrant red hair twisted up in a knot on the top of her head, and her face completely make-up free. To Harvey, she looked breathtakingly beautiful, perfect even, if it wasn't for the melancholy expression she wore.

She was flicking channels on her T.V rapidly, although it seemed she wasn't really paying much attention to the choices on offer as her gaze seemed to focus beyond the screen, her mind clearly elsewhere.

She jumped suddenly when her cell phone started to ring. Muting the T.V and placing the remote down, she picked up her phone and sighed when she saw the caller. She slid the answer button across, and then placed the call on speakerphone.

"_Hi Mom, you got my message then?" she asked rhetorically, rubbing her forehead slightly._

"_I did, sweetheart. You're sure you can't make it home?" Clara sounded more than disappointed._

"_No, I'm sorry. I really wanted to see you both, but I'm feeling a little under the weather and I don't think I could have faced the journey, not to mention possibly infecting you all with my germs," she blatantly lied._

"_Donna, is that really the reason you're not coming?" her mother asked, her voice dripping with skepticism._

"_Of course, Mom," Donna bristled. "What other reason would there be?"_

"_Well last time we spoke, you were telling me all about Mitchell. I wouldn't be offended if you'd chosen to spend Christmas with him instead."_

_Donna closed her eyes and bit her lip._

"_I'm not with Mitchell anymore mom, so no, that isn't the reason. And even if it was, I'd just tell you that, I wouldn't lie about it," she said bluntly._

"_Oh Donna honey, I'm so sorry. What happened? He seemed so perfect from what you were telling me." _

"_He _**was** _perfect...just not perfect for me. We had fun, but he wanted more and I didn't see a future with him, so I ended it. It sucks, but it was the right thing to do," Donna said with conviction._

_There was silence from the other end of the line._

"_What mom? I can practically hear the cogs whirring in your head from here. Just say what you want to say," Donna groaned._

"_Okay then, I'll start with 'he was perfect, but not perfect for me?'. Really Donna? How many times are you going to do this to yourself?" her mom asked in exasperation._

"_What is that supposed to mean?" Donna snapped._

"_Do I really need to spell it out for you? He's not perfect, because you think someone else is. Your heart is already taken."_

"_I don't know what you're talking about." Donna looked panicked._

"_Cut the crap, Donna. I'm your Mother, I know! You only have eyes for one man, and no-one else stands a chance," Clara continued._

"_Don't be ridic—"_

"_When are you going to tell Harvey how you feel about him?" _

Silence fell in the room once again, and this time Harvey realised he was holding his breath. He was staring intently at Donna's face whilst being completely mesmerized by the conversation. Surely her mom did not just ask her that. Surely Clara had misread the situation.

"_Mom, it's not like that between us. Harvey is my best friend, we don't—"_

"_Be honest with me Donna, and be honest with yourself," Clara interrupted again. "Tell me you're not in love with him."_

Donna sighed, and slumped back into her couch. She closed her eyes, and held her fingers to her forehead, clearly contemplating how to respond.

Harvey dared to step a little closer, his heart pounding as he desperately waited to hear what Donna would say. It felt like the mock trial all over again, only this time he was pretty sure whatever came out of Donna's mouth, was less likely to be as vague.

Donna flopped her hand back down, and stared directly ahead. Unbeknownst to her, she was staring directly at Harvey.

"_I can't tell you that Mom, because you and I both know that I am in love with him… hopelessly so."_

Time stopped still for Harvey. His shoulders slumped, and his head fell to one side, as he exhaled sharply. His stomach was doing triple backflips as he contemplated Donna's words. He realised that somehow, deep down, he'd always known.

"_Then you need to tell him, sweetheart," came Clara's reply._

_Donna shook her head vehemently. "Harvey doesn't want a relationship, and he's certainly not ready for one anyway. I'm pretty certain he doesn't feel the same way. I'm really not on his radar," she paused, taking a very large gulp of her wine. "Maybe you're right, Mom. Maybe I'm kidding myself. I'm just biding my time, waiting and hoping that one day... he'll see me." _

Donna's voice broke on her last few words, and Harvey's heart ached.

"_Oh honey, I don't know what to say to you. Part of me wants to tell you that you need to let him go and move on with your life, once and for all, because I hate seeing you suffering."_

"_And the other part?" Donna asked, with a wry smile._

"_The other part of me, distinctly remembers the way he looked at you, the last time I saw him. You remember? At that wonderful dinner party you hosted? Well, you can't mistake that look Donna, and I'm pretty sure ... in fact I'd stake my life on it … that he's in love with you too."_

Donna shook her head, and wiped her tear stained face. Harvey had never felt so helpless, he wasn't sure what he would actually say to her if he were truly here in the room with her, but the need to reach out and hold her was overwhelming.

"_I don't think so, Mom. But thanks for the sentiment. Listen, how about I try and come up and see you for New Years?"_

"_That would be lovely, Donna. Are you sure you're going to be okay, though? I know how much Christmas means to you, I hate to think of you sat there all alone."_

"_I'll be fine Mom, I promise. I have wine, I have candy, I have a pumpkin pie the size of Wisconsin to munch through. I'm good!" she said reassuringly._

"_Okay, Donna. Merry Christmas, honey. We love you, and we'll see you for New Year!"_

"_Merry Christmas Mom, and give my love to Dad too. See you in a week."_

_Donna hung up and threw her phone on to the couch. She gave a shuddering sigh, and then leant forward to pour herself some more wine._

"_Goddamn it, Harvey Specter. You will be the death of me," she whispered to herself, as she sat back again, taking a swig. Once again, she unknowingly looked directly at him, whilst shaking her head. _

Harvey lifted his arm, and reached out to her. His fingers twitching in the air, as if he might break through the mirage and she would truly see him. In more ways than one.

"Her mother is right, isn't she, Harvey?" Chris spoke suddenly, breaking the silence. "You are in love with Donna."

Harvey tightly closed his eyes and clenched his jaw. He opened them again and gazed lovingly at the woman in front of him.

"It doesn't matter," he barely whispered.

"It doesn't _matter?_"

"I won't risk what we have," he said sadly. "Donna is the most important person in my life, I can't function without her. This success that I have? I'd have none of it, if it weren't for her."

"But you could have so much more. Your feelings for each other shouldn't be denied, Harvey. You'll both only end up suffering," Chris tried to reason.

"NO!" Harvey bellowed, his eyes heavy with unshed tears. "Don't you get it? I'm a complete 'Fuck Up'. I would ruin everything, I always do. I can't do relationships, it's just not me. I'd drive her away, I know it, and then I would lose her for good. She's too goddamn important! If I lost her, I'd never...I'd…" Harvey voice trailed off. He stared at Chris, his eyes pleading with him to understand.

"I think you should have more faith in yourself, Harvey," he replied gently.

Harvey just shook his head, then turned away, stepping nearer to Donna. He watched her as she sat, flicking through the T.V channels once again, and he knelt down in front of her.

"I'm sorry, Donna," was all he could choke out.

He stood and looked over to Chris. "Are we leaving now?" he asked, dispondantly.

Chris nodded, and with another twinkling of gold and silver stars, Harvey was once again stood in his living room.

He slumped down onto his couch and buried his head in his hands, his energy drained. He didn't notice the decorations, twinkly lights, and presents slowly disappearing from around him.

"I'm leaving you now, Harvey," Chris informed him. "My time has come to an end. The third and final spirit will arrive here at—"

"Let me guess, 3 a.m?" Harvey gave a shallow laugh.

Chris nodded and smiled. "Goodbye Harvey… and Merry Christmas"

Harvey blinked and Chris was gone.

.

Continued in part III


	3. Chapter 3

Harvey's apartment was once again devoid of anything remotely festive. Harvey remained seated, a combination of despair, weariness and now fear keeping him fixed in his spot. He knew what was coming next. Long gone were the doubts and skepticism of earlier. Logic dictated that this next spirit would be showing him things that had not yet come to pass. That unnerved him to say the least. Everyone thinks they would like to see the future, but Harvey surmised that this was likely to be an unsettling experience, even if that future was rosy and full of joy, and following the theme of the night, he highly doubted that that would be likely.

There was no way he could sleep. He sat staring at the clock, watching the hands turn slowly, but relentlessly. His nerves were on edge, his anxiety peaked. A million questions flashed through his mind, what would he see? What would this new spirit say? Where will they go?

2:45 am.

God, this was excruciating. His knee began bouncing up and down with nervous agitation. He cracked his knuckles.

2:53 am

Maybe another drink might help take the edge off.

Except, he'd have to get up and walk to his drinks cabinet, and he honestly didn't think he had the strength to stand. His legs felt like jelly.

2:56 am

His heart rate started to increase, and he felt his chest tighten. Christ, that was all he needed, a goddamn panic attack. He closed his eyes and began the slow breathing exercises his therapist had shown him. As he felt the tingling in his fingers begin to subside, he heard the chime of his clock.

3:00 am.

Harvey halted his breath, his eyes darting around the room. Then just as he let out a deep breath, he practically yelped when suddenly as if from nowhere, a figure, cloaked in black stood looming over him.

"Jesus Christ!" Harvey gasped.

The faceless, hooded figure merely shook his head.

Harvey swallowed, then cleared his throat. "You are the ghost of Christmas future, yes?" he asked nervously.

The spirit nodded.

"Do you speak?"

Nothing.

"Okay. This looks like it'll be heaps of fun," Harvey grimaced.

The spirit simply lifted his cloaked arm, a bony finger protruding from the end of its sleeve. It held its arm middair for barely a second, then dropped it, revealing completely new surroundings. Harvey was now panting, his nerves on a knife edge. However, as he slowly recognized where he was, he began to calm down a little.

"I'm at Pearson, Specter, Litt. This is Louis's office."

At that very moment, the door swung open and Louis walked through, followed by none other than Jessica Pearson. Both lawyers looked older to Harvey, but he would guess no more than ten years older.

"_Let me pour you a drink, Jessica. Is whiskey okay?" _

"_Of course, Louis," Jessica sat herself down on his couch. _

_Louis poured two generous glasses of scotch, passing one to his former boss. He sat down opposite her, then leaned forward._

"_To old friends," Louis said, his voice thick with emotion._

"_Old friends," she replied, her face solemn as they both sipped from their glasses._

"_How long will you be staying in New York?" Louis asked._

"_I'll be heading back straight away, as soon as it's over. I shouldn't have come at all really, especially with it being Christmas. But I guess I just had to."_

_Louis nodded. "I think a lot of the old firm will be there. Alex and Katrina of course. Benjamin confirmed yesterday, as did Rachel. I understand even Cameron Dennis and Sean Cahill will show their faces." Louis looked away wistfully._

"_What about Donna?" _

_Louis sighed then shrugged his shoulders. "I spoke to her, she was shocked to say the least. I think the news really hit her hard. She wouldn't say whether she'd come though. So, I don't know." _

_Jessica took another sip of her drink, and they sat in silence for a few moments. She then placed her glass down onto the coffee table and reached out, touching Louis's hand._

"_Tell me what happened to the firm, Louis? What happened to Harvey?" Jessica asked, a pained expression on his face._

_Louis shook his head. "Donna left, and everything went to shit. He was never the same. He lost more cases than he won, he was angry all the time, drank too much. He pissed so many people off, influential people in high places. It was only a matter of time before he got himself disbarred. I think by that stage, he wanted it to happen."_

"_He was on self destruct," Jessica acknowledged._

"_Yeah! But do you know what? for all the trouble he caused us during that time, this place never felt the same after he left. It never felt right! Still doesn't if I'm honest." Louis shook his head in sorrow._

"_You did the best you could, Louis. There's no helping a man that doesn't want to be helped," Jessica reassured. _

"_I know," he acquiesced._

"_How about you pour us another drink, and we have a little reminisce about old times. Back to the days of Pearson, Specter, Litt?" Jessica suggested._

"_I'd like that, Jessica. I'd like that." _

_Louis, took their glasses and refilled them, and they sat back and started swapping stories and memories._

"I don't understand. I'm not working at the firm anymore?" Harvey looked incredulously at the spirit next to him. "Never in a million years, would I allow myself to get disbarred. That just wouldn't happen. This is bullshit!"

The cloaked spirit remained as impassive as ever.

"And what the hell has happened to the Firm? What was Jessica talking about? Is the firm dissolving? Is that why everyone's meeting up?"

Harvey began to feel frustrated at the lack of response he was getting from his spirit guide, but before he could ask anymore pointless questions, the hooded figure once again lifted his bony finger, casting a shadow over the scene in front of him.

Harvey took a deep breath in preparation for the next scene, and for the first time, when his surroundings changed once again, Harvey found himself in a place he did not recognize at all.

He was in a kitchen. A domestic kitchen. In a house that was unfamiliar to him. As he gazed about him trying to find clues in order to decipher where he was, he heard loud voices approaching. Loud, angry voices.

The kitchen door flew open and Harvey's breath faltered when his eyes fell on Donna, as she swept into the kitchen. She was visibly older, more than a few grey hairs were mixed in with her red locks, and there was no mistaking the extra lines around her eyes. To Harvey, she was still breathtaking beautiful. Beautiful, and clearly very angry and upset.

Hot on her heel was a tall, slender, grey haired man, who Harvey failed to recognize.

"_For Christ's sake, Donna. Will you just listen to yourself?"_

"_Go to hell, Mark!" Donna snapped back._

"_Oh, that's mature. Great, so we're not going to discuss this like grown ups?"_

"_There's nothing to discuss. I'm going, and that's that!" Donna was throwing keys and a wallet into her purse._

"_Do you have any idea how pathetic you look?" _

_Donna stopped dead in her tracks, she pivoted on her heel, and glared at Mark. "What did you just say to me?" _

_A look of regret flashed across Mark's face. He held up his hands as a show of apology. "I'm sorry, Donna. I shouldn't have said that."_

"_You're damn right, you shouldn't have. How dare you say that to me, especially as you haven't given me one good reason why I shouldn't go!" she challenged._

_Mark's face darkened. "You want a reason? I can give you several. You left him nearly ten years ago, Donna. You left, and he never called, visited, or even sent one Christmas card."_

_Donna flinched and looked away, but Mark wasn't done._

"_You sought me out, remember? YOU came looking for ME!" he shouted. "Yet from that very moment, during all the time we were dating, even after we got married for fuck sake...every day since, you've been longing for HIM!"_

_Donna stepped back, her bottom lip trembling, but Mark was on a roll. His face flushed with anger and hurt._

"_Did you think I wouldn't notice? Did you think I wasn't aware?" he practically screamed at her._

"_Mark—"_

"_Do you know what the most tragic thing is? You were pining after a man that didn't want you. He rejected you, remember?" he snarled._

"_Mark, please…" Donna was shaking her head in distress._

"_I was there to pick up the pieces. I offered you everything, but I was never good enough, was I? I could never compete with the high and mighty Harvey Specter. The man that spurned you!"_

_They stood staring at each other, both enraged, both in tears._

"_Is that a good enough reason for you, Donna?" Mark finally whispered. _

_Donna picked up her purse, and slung the strap over her shoulder. She stepped towards the door, but then looked back, her face crestfallen._

"_You're right, Mark, and I'm really, really sorry. He did reject me, and yet I never stopped loving him. I don't think I ever will, not until my dying breath. He's someone I just couldn't cut out of me, no matter how hard I tried. So I am going, not for him… but for me!"_

_Without another word, she walked out of the door._

Harvey stood watching, completely speechless. He felt sick. He wasn't sure what disturbed him more, the look of sheer pain on Donna's face, or the realisation that he was the one to inflict it.

His mind was whirring incessantly, trying to put all the pieces of the puzzle together.

Donna had, in one shape or form, made a move on him, and he'd rejected her.

She'd left.

He'd fallen apart.

The firm fell apart.

She got married, but had still fallen apart.

Everything had gone to shit!

As he turned in despair to look at his spirit guide, the veil of darkness had already fallen around them. When it lifted, Harvey was surrounded by several people, all dressed in black. With a rapidly sinking sensation, it didn't take long for him to realize that he was standing in a graveyard. His breath hitched, when one after one, he noted the faces stood alongside him.

They were all known to him.

He felt his blood run cold as he spied Louis, Jessica, Rachel and Katrina, their heads bowed. He spotted Alex with his wife. Sean Cahill was just in front of him.

Deep down he knew whose funeral they were attending, but he hung onto his denial, as he searched the sea of faces for further confirmation.

The mourners were now walking away from the grave. He felt his heart clench, when Scottie appeared next to Louis, and gave him a hug.

Still not wanting to believe, he moved closer to the two remaining people stood by the grave. It was then that he knew without a doubt that this was his funeral.

Marcus was stood with his arm around Donna, as they both silently wept.

Harvey sank to his knees, and he was sure he might throw up, right there. He cried out in despair. How had everything gone so badly, so wrong. How had he lost everything? How had he lost everyone? He turned in desperation to the cloaked spirit next to him, and he sobbed as he looked up at him.

"If ever you were going to speak, please, please do it now," he cried. "Please tell me that this future is not set in stone, that I can change it. Change it all!"

Still the spirit said nothing.

"I've never begged anyone for anything in my whole life, but I'm begging you now. If you have the power, take me back. Take me away from this fucking nightmare," he was practically wailing. His body racked with pain, guilt and anguish.

He was sobbing hard now, years of pent up emotions, grief, anger, hurt pouring out of him. So much so, that he fell back on his knees, and slumped against his own headstone. The tears streamed down his face, as his trembling fingers pressed into the etched grooves of the letters of his name, and the date of his death.

"Please...please… please" he whimpered, rocking himself back and forth.

"Please…"

"Please…"

Slowly his sobs subsided, as he became acutely aware that he was no longer hugging a cold gravestone, but his pillow.

In his bed.

Harvey stilled. He was sweating profusely, and his heart was still beating rapidly. He gently let go of his pillow as he cautiously looked around the room. It was definitely his bedroom, and he was very much alone.

Harvey let out a deep gasp, and he flung back the sheets on his bed. It was daylight, but he had no clue what day it was.

He ran into his living room and saw his phone and two empty whiskey glasses on the coffee table by his couch.

The girl, from the bar. That definitely happened. He ran towards the coffee table, tripping over one of his shoes on the way. As he hopped the last few steps, he reached for his phone, and unlocked the screen.

It was Christmas Day, and it was 6am.

Harvey took a moment to process what that might mean. If he was to believe that everything that he had seen, heard and witnessed really did happen, then those spirits had performed their magic all in the space of one night.

Harvey shrugged. Well, of course they could. They're frickin' ghosts. Harvey chuckled to himself, the feeling of genuine warmth and humour, feeling slightly alien to him. He suddenly felt giddy. Not the kind that came from too much drinking, but the type that came with the overwhelming sensation of relief, realisation and something else even more profound. Hope.

It was like his whole adult life had been an enigma code that he'd been unable to crack, and he'd now finally been given the key. Only, if he really thought about it, the key had been under his nose all the time, he just couldn't see it.

A wave of excitement washed over him. There was so much he wanted to do, so many things he needed to put right. It only took a nanosecond for him to decide what was his number one priority. All the others paled in comparison.

He sprinted to his bathroom, showering in record time. He swiftly got dressed, opting for dark jeans, a black v neck sweater and a suede jacket. He grabbed his phone, wallet and keys and left his apartment, eager to put his plan into motion.

As he walked through the lobby of his apartment, he shouted an enthusiastic 'Merry Christmas' to Gerald on the front desk. The long standing security guard returned the greeting, looking slightly baffled at Harvey's cheerfulness. He hailed a cab, greeting the driver with another jovial 'Merry Christmas' as he climbed in the back. He happily made small talk with him all the way to his destination, his heart beating wildly in anticipation, yet feeling lighter with every passing second.

When he arrived, he stood outside the familiar apartment building and looked up, taking a moment to compose himself before he entered. Then, not wanting to waste another minute, he stepped inside the building, forgoing the elevator, choosing to climb the stairs two at a time instead.

His breath faltered as he found himself outside number '206' once more. Not only was he suddenly extremely mindful of what he was about to do, but memories of his last visit here, only a few hours previous, came flooding into his brain.

He lifted his hand towards the door, and hesitated, just for a few seconds, before he gave three loud knocks. As he waited for Donna to answer, it occurred to him that he might be a tad early. He looked at his watch. 6:45am. It _was_ early, but he wasn't going to leave. He'd sit outside her door if needs be.

He needn't have worried though, as he heard the chain on the door rattle before it swung open, revealing a slightly bedraggled Donna. Her red hair was tousled, her hazel eyes were sleepy, and she was wearing what could only be described as deep crimson Christmas silky PJ's and a confused frown. Harvey sucked in a deep breath as all his senses were bathed in the sheer beauty of her.

"Harvey?" Donna croaked, her voice still heavy with sleep.

"Donna."

"What are you doing here? Is something wrong, has something happened?" Alarm flashed across her face, her brain instantly but understandably jumping to the wrong conclusion.

"Nothing's wrong," he quickly reassured her.

Relief flooded her features, only for her confused frown to return. "Then why are you here?" she asked.

Harvey suddenly realised that whilst there was no doubt in his mind that this was exactly where he needed to be, he had no idea what to do or say next.

"I…" He paused. "Can I come in?" he asked, his eyes never wavering from her hers.

Donna was still staring at him in confusion, her eyes rapidly looking him up and down, as though studying him from head to foot. Harvey broke out in a grin as he realised she was using her 'Donna' skills, trying to ascertain the reason for his visit. He was pretty sure, she wasn't going to guess this one.

He quirked his eyebrow at her as he awaited her answer.

With a tiny shake of her head, she looked up into his deep brown eyes. "Okay...sure." She stepped to the side, allowing him to pass. As he did, he brushed her shoulder, and his heart skipped a beat.

He stepped into her living room, noting the empty bottle of wine, nearly empty box of chocolate candy, and crumpled up bag of potato chips on her coffee table. If ever he needed proof that the events of last night were real, here was the evidence.

"Sorry about the mess, but I wasn't expecting anyone, so…" Donna's voice trailed off.

Harvey turned on his heel to face her. "Hey, no need to apologise," he smiled at her.

Donna's frown deepened. "How did you know I wasn't in Cortland?" she asked suddenly, her brain rapidly trying to make sense of the fact that Harvey Specter was standing in her living room on Christmas morning. Her eyes then widened in horror. "Oh God, my Mom didn't call you did she?"

Harvey opened his mouth to respond, then realised he didn't really know how to answer her first question, so he decided to tackle the latter first.

"No, of course not… why would you think that she might have?" Harvey deflected, knowing full well the reason why she would think that. He felt a little bit guilty that he had a distinct advantage over her here. He was privy to her conversation with her mother, and as a result, he had an insight into her mind, and her heart.

Donna nodded, looking somewhat relieved, but then she narrowed her eyes at him. "So how did you know?" she asked again.

"It's a long story," Harvey answered vaguely.

"I'm all ears"

"You wouldn't believe me if I told you"

"HARVEY! Stop being evasive," she said, frustration getting the better of her.

Harvey sighed. "Let's just say that when I got home last night, I remembered that the only way of you getting to Cortland was by bus, and as you didn't leave work until late, you probably missed it." He held out his arms to the side and gave a little shrug, as though it was the most obvious explanation in the world.

Except Donna wasn't buying it. "You mean to tell me that instead of doing your usual on Christmas Eve, you know, getting drunk and hooking up, you went home, and actually thought about someone else other than yourself?" she asked acerbically.

Harvey flinched. Her words stung, but she wasn't wrong. He didn't want to lie to her. That wasn't how he wanted this day to start. However, he knew that admitting how his evening had initially begun would likely cause her pain, and he had promised himself that he would never do that again. Not if he could help it. So he decided he would just be conservative with the truth.

"I was an asshole at work yesterday. A total dick! I knew I shouldn't have let you leave without saying sorry, but I did, and...well, it bothered me. I then realised that because of me, you probably missed your chance to go home for Christmas, and the more I thought about it, the more I felt like shit. I'm really sorry, Donna. Truly, I am."

"So that's why you came here, at 7am on Christmas morning. To apologize?" Donna eyed him skeptically.

Harvey took a deep breath. "It's not the only reason I'm here," he said, his voice soft and deep, as he stepped a little closer to her.

"No?"

"No" he shook his head, and stepped closer again.

Donna's breath hitched, the butterflies in her stomach beating wildly, as she clocked him slowly closing the distance between them.

She stood her ground, though. "Then why?" she asked, her voice wavering.

Harvey moved a step nearer to her again, they were now merely inches apart. Both of them breathing heavily.

"I came here to tell you something," he said, his dark brown eyes staring intently at her.

"And what was that?" she asked, her voice barely a whisper.

He reached out and took her hand, running his thumb softly across her palm.

"I came here to tell you … that I see you!"

"What?"

"I see you, Donna Roberta Paulsen." He tilted his head to the side, and gazed deeply into her eyes.

Donna's lip started trembling, and her eyes instantly watered. She blinked rapidly, desperately trying to prevent her tears from falling, but as one escaped down her cheek, Harvey lifted his hand and gently wiped it away.

"I see you, in every way," he continued softly, as she gently sobbed, shaking her head in disbelief.

"I want you, in every way." He cupped her cheeks in both hands, as he leant forward, and gently kissed another tear away.

"I love you, Donna. In every...way!" His eyes were dark and he stared at her intently, a thousand unspoken words conveyed in that one look. She stared desperately at him, her eyes still questioning his, seeking final clarification, that he really meant what he was saying to her.

He gave her a small nod in answer, then crashed his lips against hers.

Donna moaned softly, as his tongue gently sought out hers and their kiss deepened. Her hands flew up to the back of his neck, as her fingers ran through his soft hair. Harvey removed one hand from her cheek, and placed it on her waist, pulling her closer to him. He changed the angle of their kiss, as their tongues continued to play a merry dance, neither one of them willing to pull apart. Years of pent up feelings, repressed emotions and pure, unadulterated passion poured into their kiss.

Desperate for air, their lips finally separated and they both stood in each others arms, gasping. Their foreheads touched as they gazed into each other's eyes.

"I don't understand," Donna finally whispered. "Why now?" she asked as she ran her fingers across his jaw bone.

"Let's just say, I think I had an epiphany last night." He gave a chuckle, and leaned back in for another soft kiss, his bottom lip gently teasing her top lip, as he brushed the tip of his tongue across hers. Their kissed deepened once more, and Harvey groaned as he felt a fire ignite within him.

This time Donna pulled away with a giggle.

"An epiphany?" Donna was desperately trying to fathom what could have happened in such a short space of time, to cause this radical change. She needed to know. She raised her eyebrows at him, indicating she wanted clarification.

Harvey pouted, as he grappled with how he was going to explain this to her. He brought her fingers to his lips, and kissed them, before looking into her eyes with a sigh.

"I'm in love with you Donna Paulsen. I've been in love with you for a very, very long time," he paused as he intertwined their fingers. "You have always been the most important person in my life, Donna, but I was certain that if we were together in _that_ way, I would undoubtedly fuck it up, and then I would lose you. I couldn't risk that, I couldn't risk what we had."

"So what happened last night to make you change your mind?" Donna asked, her heart beating wildly in response to his words.

"I heard that Walter Schmidt died"

"Wait, Walter Schmidt as in Gordon, Schmidt, Van Dyke?"

Harvey nodded, watching her intently. "He was like me, or rather, I was like him. Success driven, ruthless, emotionally stunted."

"A Dick!" Donna smirked.

Harvey shook his head with a laugh. "Correct, an A star asshole. Anyway, I heard he died, and I heard he'd done so having lost everything but his money. He died miserable and alone, and I realised, that could be me."

"Harvey-"

"Let me finish, the epiphany part is coming," he said with a smile. "I realised that if I carried on the way I was, if I didn't risk anything with you, the likelihood was that I would drive you away and lose you eventually anyway. I could end up like him"

"You wouldn't drive me away, Harvey," Donna said with a shake of her head, as she cupped his face in her hands and stared deeply into his eyes.

"I think I would have," he whispered, as images of the horrifying future he had witnessed, flashed across his mind. "In fact I know I would have, because I know you love me too. Deep down I've always known, and eventually, I think you would have given up waiting for me, and moved on!"

"There was me, thinking I'd successfully kept my feelings for you hidden," Donna looked down, a blush tinting her cheeks.

Harvey lifted her chin back up and ran his fingers through her hair, tucking the strands behind her ear.

"We've established what a 'dick' I am, we're both aware of my atrocious behaviour of late, yet you are always there, in my corner, fighting for me, defending me. If that isn't unconditional love, I don't know what is," he beamed his signature smile at her, his eyes sparkling with affection.

"Well a steady supply of designer handbags and use of your corporate card helps, plus the—"

Harvey silenced her with another bruising kiss. She couldn't help a giggle escaping as he smiled into the kiss. The sound of her laughter made his heart sing, and in that very moment, Harvey knew he had never felt happier.

Their lips parted once more and they stood grinning at each other from ear to ear.

"So, we're really doing this then?" she asked, still finding it hard to believe this was happening.

"You bet your ass we are," he laughed, eyebrows wiggling.

"I love you, Harvey Specter,"

"I know," he replied, his heart soaring just hearing those five words. He then grabbed both her hands and bit his lip as he studied her face, slightly nervous about what he was about to propose.

"I have a plan for today, if that's okay with you," he asked nervously.

"Harvey Specter has a plan, I'm intrigued."

He gave a little chuckle. "Firstly, I need you to help me notify everyone at the firm that I'm closing the office tomorrow. Everyone gets to take another day to celebrate Christmas."

Donna stared at him open mouthed.

"Then, I'm taking you out to lunch. I'm guessing you don't have much in the way of ingredients for a decent Christmas dinner, and I want us to go out and celebrate."

Donna nodded slowly, still open mouthed.

"Then…" he paused, biting his bottom lip. "I'm going to contact the car club in a minute, as we're going to need a ride this afternoon."

Donna instantly frowned. "If you're thinking of driving us up to Cortland, honestly, don't worry, Harvey. I've made plans to see my parents for New Year instead. Besides, surely your car club is closed today?"

Harvey shook his head. "They'll answer my call, they always do, and before you say anything, I'll make sure they'll be well compensated," he assured her. "That's not where we're going anyway," he paused again, as he took a deep breath. "I was hoping we could drive up to Boston."

"You want to go and see Marcus?" She clarified, her eyes lifted in surprise.

"Yes… and my Mom!" He said with a half smile.

Donna gasped, and once again she found herself speechless.

"Would that be okay? Will you come with me?" He asked tentatively.

Donna's eyes watered once again, but she nodded instantly. "Of course I'll come with you, Harvey. I'd love nothing more."

Harvey beamed at her, leaning in once more for another kiss. This time the kiss became more heated as Harvey slowly walked Donna back against the wall.

He ran one hand up her side, the other cupped the back of her neck as his knee gently nudged her legs apart. Donna groaned as she felt his burgeoning desire, heat pooling at her core. She hooked one leg around him as they ground into each other, their hands caressing every inch possible, both desperate for each other's touch.

"Harvey," Donna panted. "I need you...now!".

Harvey released his lips from the pulse point on her neck as he pulled away to look at her, his eyes now black with desire.

"Bedroom," he growled.

They made their way to her bedroom, discarding clothes along the way.

They spent the remainder of the morning in Donna's bed, their coming together initially frenzied and desperate as they both released over ten years worth of pent up desire and passion. Their feverish hunger for each other then gave way to more intimate and tender lovemaking. They took time to savour each other, kissing every freckle, every inch of skin, as they delighted and worshipped one another. They caressed and nuzzled, intertwined fingers, kissed tears away and whispered and sighed words of deep love and affection, as they gazed into each others souls.

After showering and dressing, which took three times as long as it should have done due to their constant need to touch, and frequent bouts of giggles and make out sessions, they set to work on Harvey's plan.

Donna sent out a firm wide notification that the office would be closed the next day, whilst Harvey arranged for a Tesla Roadster to be delivered to Donna's apartment within the hour.

He made a reservation at Del Posto for them, and then he called Marcus, informing his younger brother that both he and Donna would be visiting that evening.

"Are you pranking me Harvey? Because if you are, that's a new low even for you," Marcus asked suspiciously.

"I'm serious! We want to come and see you, Katie and the kids. If that's okay, I know it's short notice"

Marcus didn't immediately respond, causing Harvey to worry a little, doubt creeping up on him as he wondered if after years of turning down his brothers invitation, he finally wasn't welcome anymore.

"We'd love to see you both," Marcus reassured. " It's just that Mom and Bobby are here, and I don't want you-"

"We'd like to see them too," Harvey interrupted, a smile growing on his face.

"You what now?"

Harvey gave a little chuckle, but then he spoke more seriously, anxious that Marcus not be in any doubt of his sincerity. "It's time, Marcus. I want to see her, I want to apologise to you all, and I want you to finally meet Donna. So, what do you say? is it okay if we stop by?" he asked, holding his breath.

"Wow, Harvey. Yes, of course. I can't tell you how happy Mom will be. She's wanted this for too long."

"Do me a favour, Marcus. Don't mention anything to her. I'd kind of like to surprise her, if that's okay?" he asked.

"My lips are sealed. You're not just stopping by though, you have to stay with us okay?"

"We can stay in a hotel, it's no problem," Harvey said, not wanting to impose on his brother at such short notice."

"Hey, don't even think about it. You're staying with us and that's final."

Harvey laughed. "Okay loser! I'll see you later."

"Looking forward to it, Dickhead!"

Once the roadster was delivered, Harvey drove them to his condo for him to pick up an overnight bag, before carrying on to Del Posto.

Whilst the restaurant was familiar to them, this experience felt completely different now that they were together as a couple. Harvey had been allocated a romantic table in the corner, and they spent the duration of the meal, chatting, laughing, and simply gazing at each other over candlelight.

It was mid afternoon when they finally made it on the road for the journey up to Boston. Donna took the opportunity for a little shut eye as Harvey geared himself up for his long awaited reunion with his mother. He was feeling nervous now, but also brimming with excitement.

As they pulled up outside Marcus and Katie's home, Donna grabbed Harvey's hand and gave it a squeeze. "Ready?" she asked, searching his eyes to make sure he was okay.

Harvey nodded, and a few minutes later, he was knocking on the front door, his heart thrumming loudly with anticipation.

The door swung open and Marcus grinned from ear to ear as he took in the site of Harvey and Donna on his doorstep. He gave his big brother a bear hug, and kissed Donna on the cheek before putting his finger to his lips and winking at them.

"Mom!" He shouted. "There's someone here to see you."

Donna released Harvey's hand, and stepped back slightly, not wanting to intrude on the moment that they would set eyes on each for the first time in years.

Lily appeared from behind Marcus and she immediately gasped, her hand flying up to her mouth in shock.

"Harvey?"

"Hey Mom...Merry Christmas!" Harvey was already in tears as they stood staring at each other.

"Oh my god! Is it really you?" she asked, not believing her own eyes.

"It's me, Mom," he said gently. "I'm here, with Donna. We've come to spend the rest of Christmas with you, if that's okay?" he asked with slight trepidation, suddenly nervous as to what his Mom might say after too many years of estrangement.

"Okay? Harvey, it's more than okay!" She cried. "Come here."

She opened her arms and Harvey willingly fell into her embrace. They both sobbed as they hugged each other tightly. When they finally pulled away she cradled his face in her hands. "I love you, Harvey, and I'm so sorry for-"

"Mom, it's okay," he shook his head with a smile. "I'm sorry too, but we'll talk later, I promise. Right now though, I want to introduce you to Donna. She's my better half in more ways than one."

Harvey moved to one side as Donna stepped forward, a warm smile on her face as she greeted his mother.

"Hi Lily, it's wonderful to finally meet you."

"You too, Donna. You have no idea!"

That Christmas soon became Harvey's all time favourite. Reconnecting with his family and making peace with his mom and Bobby was made all the more special by having Donna at his side.

It came as no surprise to him that by the time they were ready to leave the next morning, his family were nearly as much in love with Donna as he was. She not only dazzled them with her 'Donna' charm, but what really won them over was the fact that it was obvious to them that Harvey was deeply in love with her. They were also certain she was instrumental in bringing about this sudden change in him.

Harvey and Donna spent the rest of their Christmas holiday mainly wrapped in each other's arms, and when it came time to return to work, they were both relieved to find that they're work dynamic remained relatively unchanged.

Harvey, on the other hand, _had_ changed. The lessons he learned that Christmas Eve night shaped and moulded his behaviour from that moment on.

He was still a winner, and he remained the best closer in New York City. However his success no longer depended on him detaching himself from his emotions or from ruthlessly disregarding the feelings of others. His strength now came from the love he shared with his family, friends and of course, Donna.

He never disclosed to her what happened that night. He knew that she suspected that more had gone on than he had told her, but neither felt the need to say anymore about it. They were both just happy that Harvey had found his heart again.

Donna also never questioned Harvey over his insistence that every subsequent year, at some point between Christmas and New Year, they should travel to the Flushing Cemetery in New York, so that he could lay flowers and a bottle of whiskey at the grave of Walter Schmidt. She just assumed that Walter's death was the catalyst for Harvey's epiphany. Visiting his grave at the end of every year was just his way of marking the anniversary of the day that Harvey Specter learned to love and to be loved, as well as the day that he stopped hating Christmas!

Fin.


End file.
